Do you know me? I've been on TV. Well, almost on TV, but I am a celebrated actor. "Celebrated" in that I won the coveted "Best Battlefield Death of an Anonymous Soldier" voted on by the ragtag group of equally anonymous Confederate boys who re-enacted The Battle of Arnoldsburg. Which is, actually, quite esteemed considering I was merely a kid trying to get a SAG card riding shotgun with Guys Who Do This Stuff All The Time, or "re-enactment enthusiasts."

When I was shot, I jerked my head back so hard that my hat fell off and my gun flew out of my hands. Hardly the Death of Caesar, but good enough for the Missouri 6th Regiment Confederate Army and good enough for the History Channel.

You might have also seen me in my other role as part of the ensemble of what the scipt called, "Scattered, dead soldiers on the battlefield's aftermath." One might argue that it was an extension of the earlier role, but no. I was situated completely differently. And I remained still for a very long time. So long and so still and so much in the character of being a fallen war hero that I completely missed the break for lunch. I managed to score some soggy french fries from the caterer. Actors still do suffer for their craft.

Assignment: Pull a Kevin Costner...
You know the story: Kevin Costner was the dead guy the mortician was putting the suit on at the beginning of The Big Chill...the high school chum all the principle actors returned home to mourn. Hey, if it was good enough for him, it's good enough for you.

Here's the deal: Make up a story about being a dead body in some movie or TV show to your friends. Details and embellishment will score you points and credibility here. Such as:

"Hey guys! Remember a couple of years ago that I took a vacation? Well, actually I went to New York and got a cherry job as an extra for a couple of days on the Law & Order show. Yeah, remember the one about the guy who was killed, then they found his twin brother, but then it turned out to be the other third sibling they never knew about and was trying to become the first brother? Yeah, I was the body of the drug dealer in the dumpster at a different crime scene. Man, that was real garbage, too. Stunk to high heaven. Oh yeah, Christopher Noth? He's a prick."

Tell me how it goes in the Comments section.